I have a very deep faith in God, yet I have often struggled with why God allowed the abuse to happen to me. I have had people ask me if I go back in time, what would I change. My answer has always been nothing. Why? I am who I am because of what I went through. Yes, I have horrific struggles right now. I have gotten through everything in life. I will get through this also. My experiences have allowed me to help others in ways I could not have otherwise. I have a depth of compassion and empathy that few possess. As hard as it is, it is what God had planned for me.

One day I came across Russel Kelfer’s poem and found unexpected answers to my questions.

You Are Who You Are For A Reason

You are who you are for a reason.
You’re part of an intricate plan.
You’re a precious and perfect unique design,
Called “God’s special woman or man”

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You’re just what He wanted to make!

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,
And they bear the Master’s seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy;
And God wept that it hurt you so.
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you’d grow.

You are who you are for a reason.
You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.
You are who you are, Beloved,
Because there is a GOD.

russell kelfer

This poem focuses on many truths that the Bible tells us. He knew us before we were born. He knew the many paths we would take. For me, the part that hit me the deepest in my soul was:

“The parents you had were the ones He chose… They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind, And they bear the Master’s seal.”

I believe God does not make mistakes. He knew when he formed me, I would be given into a monster’s hands. He also knew I would be strong enough to endure that trial. “You are who you are for a reason.
You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod” – He knew how and what that trial would hammer me into. Those events would be instrumental in making me into what He needed me to be. I don’t fully understand His plans, yet I know this life is not all there is for us. Like an athlete who has to endure pain on a daily basis to achieve their goals, the pain I have faced here is my preparation for the final race I must run.