I am so sorry to have to write this to you. It’s not fair, I know. But you are going to be abused badly while you grow up. There is nothing you can do to change this, because it is not your fault. The man you will know as “father” is a very unwell man. This doesn’t excuse his actions. It is just the way he is. There is nothing you can do to stop him. There is nothing you can do to change him. You didn’t choose the person he chose to become – he chose that. Those decisions are out of your control. You must endure.

Your father is filled with rage. He is filled with envy. He is filled with spite. His rage will spill out. He will beat you and no one in your family will come rescue you. You will learn to mentally go “somewhere else” during these times. It is not your fault. It doesn’t matter how good you are, he will still beat you. He doesn’t need a reason. He will eventually rob you of the ability to have children. You must endure.

You will watch your mother abused. You will watch her mistreated. You will try to stand in the gap in between. You will fail. That is okay. You tried your best. You are only a child. You can’t win this fight. You cannot stop the man. He is bigger than you. He is filled with more rage. You are only a child. But you are more than he is. He is a coward. You are not. You are so much more than he could ever be. You are only a child. You must endure.

Your suffering will unfortunately change you. It will make it hard for you to fit in with others. Your parents won’t be able to teach you the social skills you need to thrive. You will grow up too fast. You will have to raise yourself. You will need to observe others. Watch closely. Learn. You must endure.

Others will mistreat you. Others will betray you. Others will harm you. You will want to give up. You will want to take your own life. You won’t be able to see tomorrow. Tomorrow will come. Eventually, it will get better, I promise. One day you can thrive. You must endure.

You have been through a lot. You will feel abandoned. You will feel alone. You are not. Don’t rush into relationships. Don’t compromise. You have known abuse. You have known anger. You have known rage. You have known neglect. You deserve better than this. Don’t fall into the relationships that continue this pattern. Demand better. I know it will be scary to go into the unknown. But that unknown is more healthy than all that you have previously known. Don’t settle. There is so much more out there. Find the person who has not known these things. Wait for that right person. Break the cycle. You are not alone. You must endure.

The world you live in is broken. Human nature is betrayal. Humans will fail you. Humans are imperfect. You are only human. You will also fail others. You will betray others. That is okay. That is the human condition. No one is perfect. You know this. You have been through fire. You have been refined. You have been placed on the anvil and the creator has pounded out the imperfections in you. You will be stronger for it. You will not know any other stronger than you. You must endure.

You will need to learn to forgive. There is an incredible power in forgiveness. The sooner you can forgive, the freer you will become. Through forgiveness you will learn compassion. Compassion will carry you far. Through your trials, you will develop a deep empathy. Your empathy will allow you to understand others in way few can. It will be both a gift and a curse. You must endure.

Above all, and the hardest thing you will ever face, you will need to learn to forgive yourself. You will need to take all the compassion and empathy you develop for others and apply it to yourself. This will be your hardest trial. This will be the most important thing you will ever do. You must do this to thrive. Once you can do this, the world will be yours.

Love, Me.